August 25, 2005

• Hello my friends!

  You know, I am finding that having xanga friends is very unique in the
  sense that there never is, well, at least in my case, a reason to get
  upset at these people (you people) or for you all to get upset with
  me.   This is very unlike real face to face life where we end
  up upsetting each other eventually.  It’s not like that in
  xangaville. I
  can feel love from people I’ve never even meet but are tied to because
  we belong to the same universal body of Christ.  It’s interesting.  I
  care for you all.  I pray for you all.  I’m interested in what is
  happening in your lives.   I
  guess someone could say something to me that would be hurtful (or via
  versa), but our collective God-pursuing goal is to encourage one
  another.  It’s easier to reflect the life of Christ or it seems
  so. And although I’m sure that this is also our goal face to face, that
  is, to encourage one another in our thoughts, deeds and words — we
  often do not have the choice to “close the window down” when we are
  upset.  Real life happens and we respond in real time.

  There are certain relationship I struggle with.  Here too my goal
  may start out to be one of encouraging the other person, but I often
  find a lack of grace (or rather an abundance of selfishness) that makes
  me critical, judgmental and impatient of the other person.  Why
  doesn’t that happen in xangaville?   Probably because I
  choose who I want to communicate with based upon their site and their
  blogs.   I probably choose those that are more like me or
  those that struggle with the same things I do.  Very few people in
  realsville are of my choosing.  It’s my unsaved neighbors or
  unsaved world around me that I have to deal with on a day to day basis
  as well as those Christian acquaintances that I don’t always have the
  choice of not being around — those people that rub me the wrong way or
  challenge me.
   
  I don’t know why I’m all of sudden reflecting on this.  Nothing
  has happened this week that would expose to a greater extent the
  difference between realsville and xangaville.  But I trust that
  God want me to see something here.   Something important that
  I’m not to miss. I’m sure it has something to do with how I react to
  those around me and how those around me respond to me.  Something
  about the “xanga” me and the “real life” me.  Not that there is
  some vast difference between the two — more like a subtle nudge that I
  should respond more like I do on xanga to people and their
  situations. 

  I think it may have to do with my impatience with others — which you
  can sometimes get in long term relationships when nothing changes –
  but there is a difference — my xangaville friends know that I am would
  not (at least I hope you know) attack you — I might point out
  something I see as it relates to God – but if I do that to you or you
  do it to me, at least on my side, there isn’t that self-defense wall
  that comes shooting up.  I know you have my best interest at heart
  when you write.  But in realsville that sometimes gets all blurred
  and self-defense is how we respond sometimes (or sometimes all the time
  depending upon the person).  

  Hmmm…. it’s good to reflect on things like this.  Yet, I sure it
  doesn’t all make sense to you what’s going on in my head!

  Just a random thought, yet purposeful in God’s eyes.
  ~me

  • 8:30 pm
  • 25 Comments